Why People Hate Networking And How to Make It Fun and Better
Impromptu Networking: A Liberating Structures Exercise
Networking is often described as a necessary evil. While it’s essential for career growth, business opportunities, and personal development, many people dread the idea of attending networking events. Why? Because traditional networking often feels awkward, forced, and transactional. Let’s break down the key reasons why people hate networking and explore ways to make it a more enjoyable and meaningful experience.
1. It Feels Superficial and Salesy
Many people associate networking with pushy sales tactics or self-promotion. The idea of making small talk with strangers while subtly trying to pitch yourself or your business can feel disingenuous. Nobody wants to be in a room where every conversation feels like a sales pitch rather than a genuine connection.
Solution: Focus on building relationships rather than selling. Ask meaningful questions, show genuine curiosity, and find common ground. Networking should be about forming authentic connections rather than just exchanging business cards.
2. The Awkwardness of Small Talk
For introverts and even some extroverts, making small talk with strangers can feel like a painful chore. Conversations at networking events often start with generic questions like “What do you do?” and can quickly become monotonous and unmemorable.
Solution: Prepare engaging conversation starters beyond the usual “What do you do?” Ask about people’s passions, recent projects, or their thoughts on industry trends. Being a good listener can also make interactions more enjoyable and less forced.
3. Fear of Rejection or Social Anxiety
Approaching new people, especially in a room full of professionals, can be intimidating. Many fear awkward silences, being ignored, or not knowing what to say next. Social anxiety makes networking feel like an overwhelming experience rather than an opportunity.
Solution: Set small, achievable goals. Instead of trying to meet everyone in the room, focus on having a few quality conversations. Remind yourself that most people feel the same way and appreciate a friendly, low-pressure approach.
4. Lack of Immediate Benefits
Unlike sending a resume or closing a deal, networking doesn’t always provide instant gratification. It takes time to build relationships and see tangible results, making some people feel like their efforts are wasted.
Solution: Shift your mindset from short-term gain to long-term investment. Networking isn’t about instant rewards—it’s about planting seeds for future opportunities. The more you give and contribute to others, the more valuable your network becomes over time.
5. Events Can Be Overwhelming or Poorly Organized
Large networking events can feel chaotic, with too many people and too little structure. On the other hand, some events lack diversity or a welcoming atmosphere, making it hard for attendees to feel comfortable engaging.
Solution: Choose events that align with your interests and goals. If big events feel overwhelming, opt for smaller, more intimate gatherings. Consider virtual networking, which can provide a less stressful way to connect with people in your industry.
Making Networking Better
If networking has felt like a chore in the past, it’s time to change your approach. Focus on genuine connections, be intentional with your conversations, and remember that everyone is there for the same reason—to meet and learn from others. Networking doesn’t have to be painful—it can be a powerful tool for personal and professional growth when done right.
The best solution I know and the one we use in my “Coffee & Careers” community and events, is a facilitated networking exercise called “Impromptu Networking”
Some of the most valuable connections come from impromptu networking—unplanned, spontaneous interactions that can open doors to new opportunities.
One effective way to facilitate these interactions in a structured yet organic manner is through the Impromptu Networking exercise from Liberating Structures.
What Is Impromptu Networking
Impromptu Networking is a simple yet powerful exercise designed to break the ice and quickly create meaningful connections among participants. It is often used at the beginning of a meeting or event to energize the room, foster engagement, and help attendees discover shared interests.
Why Impromptu Networking Matters
Authenticity – Because these interactions are structured but unforced, they tend to feel more natural and less transactional than traditional networking events.
Serendipity – You never know who you might meet and how that connection could influence your career.
Efficiency – In just a few minutes, you can establish multiple new connections and set the stage for deeper conversations.
Confidence Booster – Learning to engage in impromptu networking helps build social skills and confidence in professional settings.
How to Facilitate the Impromptu Networking Exercise
Set the Context – Explain that the goal is to quickly meet new people and share insights in a structured way.
Pose a Thoughtful Question – A great opening question should be relevant to the event, such as:
"What is the biggest challenge you're currently facing in your work?"
"What do you hope to learn or gain from this event?"
Pair Up Participants – Have attendees form pairs and share their responses for a set time (e.g., 2-3 minutes each).
Rotate Partners – After time is up, ask participants to switch partners and repeat the process with a new question or a deeper discussion.
Encourage Reflection – After several rounds, invite the group to share key takeaways and how they might follow up on new connections.
Real-Life Examples of Impromptu Networking Success
The Conference Energizer – A tech summit uses Impromptu Networking to help attendees quickly identify potential collaborators and mentors.
The Workshop Icebreaker – A leadership training session kicks off with this exercise, allowing participants to bond and engage in meaningful discussions from the start.
The Team Integration Tool – A newly formed project team uses Impromptu Networking to build trust and set a strong foundation for collaboration.
Conclusion
Impromptu Networking in Liberating Structures is a highly effective way to foster meaningful connections in a short amount of time.
By creating a structured yet open environment for dialogue, participants can maximize their networking potential, break down social barriers, and set the stage for productive collaborations.
Next time you're hosting an event or meeting, consider using this simple yet powerful exercise to enhance engagement and relationship-building.
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I suspect the networking is more dreaded by introverts. All that small talk in transactional interaction is exhausting for them.