The Feedback Myth: Why Listening Too Much Might Be Holding You Back
Excellence doesn’t come from being well-rounded. It comes from being sharp.
“People need feedback.”
We hear this mantra endlessly in workplaces, leadership programs, and coaching sessions. Feedback has become a kind of sacred ritual, ask for it, give it, collect it, live by it.
But here’s a bold thought:
What if feedback isn’t the holy grail of growth we’ve been led to believe?
What if, in fact, it’s holding us back?
The Problem With Feedback
Most feedback isn’t the clear, actionable, truth-seeking mirror we wish it were.
Instead, it’s often:
Vague: “You could be more strategic.” What does that even mean?
Biased: Colored by the giver’s preferences, blind spots, or even their mood that day.
Sugar-coated: So softened that it hides the real message.
Unsolicited: Advice you never asked for from people you don’t trust.
And that last one is crucial: if you don’t trust the competence, experience, or integrity of the person giving feedback, why should their words carry weight?
Everybody can talk.
That doesn’t mean it’s worth listening.
Feedback Fixates on Weakness
Feedback usually focuses on what went wrong, what’s missing, and what to fix.
In other words, it drags your attention toward your weaknesses.
And while that may sound noble, it often traps people in the pursuit of becoming “well-rounded.”
But here’s the truth: Nobody ever became great by being average at everything.
When we spend our lives patching gaps, we dilute our strengths. We iron out our uniqueness. We flatten excellence into mediocrity.
Attention Beats Feedback
People don’t need more feedback.
They need more attention.
Feedback says: “Here’s what you did wrong.”
Attention says: “I see what you’re doing. Let’s build on it.”
Feedback is usually about the past.
Attention is about the present and future.
People grow when leaders notice their efforts, highlight what’s working, and amplify strengths. Coaching, support, and recognition unlock potential far more than endless loops of “fix this, fix that.”
Strengths Over Weaknesses
The best people, teams, and organizations don’t succeed by ironing everyone into the same mold. They succeed by unleashing individuality.
Great teams aren’t made of clones who are “good enough” at everything.
They’re made of people who double down on their strengths and collaborate to cover each other’s blind spots.
Real excellence comes from focus, sharpness, and unapologetically becoming great at something, not from being mediocre at everything.
A Different Question
So next time you think,
“I need to give them feedback,”
try asking instead: “How can I give them attention, coaching, and support to help them get even better at what they do best?”
Because feedback flattens.
But attention elevates.
And the future of growth won’t come from fixing weaknesses.
It will come from amplifying strengths.
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